It's been a while since I have written a blog so I decided when I got the inspiration tonight that I should definitely start writing.
Recently in my institute class we have been talking about Faith and how Faith = Belief + Action. It requires stepping out of our comfort zone just a little so God can show us that He has our back. We have to make the effort before we can see that He truly has our best interest in mind and is watching out for us.
One of the most interesting things we have talked about is something I am still trying to fully wrap my head around! We talked about how God will give us the objective and the guidelines in life, but it is up to us to come up with the method and the details. This came from a talk given by Ezra Taft Benson in April 1965 entitled Not Commanded in All Things. It is a fantastic talk that I highly recommend reading!! It is not easy doctrine to grasp, but I can already just feel how life changing it can be, and it's only been a couple days since we talked about it.
Of course I can't just learn about this in our class and all of a sudden understand it. That would be too easy. :) Within not even 24 hours I got the chance to test out these principles.
Objective: Feel that my Missionary Service was Exactly what He and I needed
Guidelines: Scripture Study, Prayer, Temple Attendance, Righteous Living
Method/Details: For me to Figure out :)
I discovered one of those methods Friday, and here is the story.
When I was called to Finland to serve a mission I immediately began to feel like I was a Finnish Missionary, but since returning home early from my mission I have struggled to feel that way. I have ALWAYS felt connected to my mission, but it's hard to feel like you really were a Finnish Missionary when you never actually served in the country.
This week I got an invitation to the Finland Mission reunion from one of my MTC teachers. I was immediately excited about the idea of going. It didn't take long, however, for my nerves and fear about going to kick in. All of the inadequacies I had felt started to enter my mind, and believe me when I say it wasn't easy not listening.
I knew I needed encouragement to attend so I contacted a good friend and my sister, both of whom helped me to remember why I wanted to go. I loved what one said about how it was an act of Faith. As soon as she said this I knew I needed to had to attend. This was my opportunity to put into action what I had learned about in Institute.
So I went! I have to admit that it was hilariously difficult for me to actually get out of my car and step foot into the house where the reunion was held. I was incredibly awkward and it is much to embarrassing to write about on this blog!!
For the first hour or so I had a hard time making conversation and just being myself. I loved getting to catch up a with the teachers I had spent 2 months learning from about Finnish and Gospel. It's still a tad weird seeing them in a social setting, but it was great! I had a hard time with feeling like I didn't belong though because I still felt inadequate about the time I had served. I think this is something that all early returned missionaries have to face, consistently, but it is also something that the Lord helps us to overcome if we are willing to put in the work.
I spent the first hour doing my best to just have a good time and socialize with the incredible people who have either served in the Finnish mission or married a Finnish missionary. :) My awkward self had enough about an hour in though and I decided it was time to leave. Just as I about to walk out the door (is it just me or does the Lord always step in to teach us right when we are about to give up?) one of my teachers stated that President and Sister Rawlings (mission president & wife) were about to come in and I should stay and meet them. I decided that was a good idea so I waited in the entry way for my chance to greet them.
You can imagine my surprise as I got one of the biggest hugs of my life from Sister Rawlings. I went to introduce myself, since we had never met before, and she simply said "oh I know who you are." She thanked me for the emails I have sent and for the service I gave. It was an incredibly healing moment. Afterwords I lingered in the hallway for a minute just thinking about what a tender mercy it was to have her know who I am. Then not even a minute later a sister walked by, stopped and then turned to me and said, "Sister Farnworth!?!" I had no clue who she was and it shocked me. She then introduced herself as Sister Fronk, one of my MTC companions companions and I immediately recognized her from reading their letters. She proceeded to tell me how she knew so much about me and how she needed to introduce me to the other missionaries who knew of me. I had no idea people in Finland know who I was and it almost made me cry! To find out that the people who I had come to love in the MTC had also kept me alive in the Finnish mission was an answer to so many prayers. I was able to feel like maybe I did make a small difference.
It may not seem like a big deal to anyone who is reading this, but for me it was HUGE. It was such a blessing to be able to have this experience where I was able to leave feeling like my small contribution to the Finland Helsinki Mission had not been forgotten. Everything had fallen into place for the Lord to show me that I was remembered and I had made a difference. It helped me to move closer to the Lord's objective of me feeling like my mission was exactly what He needed at that time. It was truly an incredible night.
When we take that first action and show the Lord that we believe that He will help us make any experience into a positive learning one we are showing him our Faith. He is then able to use that Faith to bless our life.
I'm so grateful for this gospel and for the direction and peace it has brought me in this tumultuous time. I know I would not be who I am today without it, and for that I feel blessed.
Recently in my institute class we have been talking about Faith and how Faith = Belief + Action. It requires stepping out of our comfort zone just a little so God can show us that He has our back. We have to make the effort before we can see that He truly has our best interest in mind and is watching out for us.
One of the most interesting things we have talked about is something I am still trying to fully wrap my head around! We talked about how God will give us the objective and the guidelines in life, but it is up to us to come up with the method and the details. This came from a talk given by Ezra Taft Benson in April 1965 entitled Not Commanded in All Things. It is a fantastic talk that I highly recommend reading!! It is not easy doctrine to grasp, but I can already just feel how life changing it can be, and it's only been a couple days since we talked about it.Of course I can't just learn about this in our class and all of a sudden understand it. That would be too easy. :) Within not even 24 hours I got the chance to test out these principles.
Objective: Feel that my Missionary Service was Exactly what He and I needed
Guidelines: Scripture Study, Prayer, Temple Attendance, Righteous Living
Method/Details: For me to Figure out :)
I discovered one of those methods Friday, and here is the story.
When I was called to Finland to serve a mission I immediately began to feel like I was a Finnish Missionary, but since returning home early from my mission I have struggled to feel that way. I have ALWAYS felt connected to my mission, but it's hard to feel like you really were a Finnish Missionary when you never actually served in the country.
This week I got an invitation to the Finland Mission reunion from one of my MTC teachers. I was immediately excited about the idea of going. It didn't take long, however, for my nerves and fear about going to kick in. All of the inadequacies I had felt started to enter my mind, and believe me when I say it wasn't easy not listening.
I knew I needed encouragement to attend so I contacted a good friend and my sister, both of whom helped me to remember why I wanted to go. I loved what one said about how it was an act of Faith. As soon as she said this I knew I needed to had to attend. This was my opportunity to put into action what I had learned about in Institute.So I went! I have to admit that it was hilariously difficult for me to actually get out of my car and step foot into the house where the reunion was held. I was incredibly awkward and it is much to embarrassing to write about on this blog!!
For the first hour or so I had a hard time making conversation and just being myself. I loved getting to catch up a with the teachers I had spent 2 months learning from about Finnish and Gospel. It's still a tad weird seeing them in a social setting, but it was great! I had a hard time with feeling like I didn't belong though because I still felt inadequate about the time I had served. I think this is something that all early returned missionaries have to face, consistently, but it is also something that the Lord helps us to overcome if we are willing to put in the work.
I spent the first hour doing my best to just have a good time and socialize with the incredible people who have either served in the Finnish mission or married a Finnish missionary. :) My awkward self had enough about an hour in though and I decided it was time to leave. Just as I about to walk out the door (is it just me or does the Lord always step in to teach us right when we are about to give up?) one of my teachers stated that President and Sister Rawlings (mission president & wife) were about to come in and I should stay and meet them. I decided that was a good idea so I waited in the entry way for my chance to greet them.
It may not seem like a big deal to anyone who is reading this, but for me it was HUGE. It was such a blessing to be able to have this experience where I was able to leave feeling like my small contribution to the Finland Helsinki Mission had not been forgotten. Everything had fallen into place for the Lord to show me that I was remembered and I had made a difference. It helped me to move closer to the Lord's objective of me feeling like my mission was exactly what He needed at that time. It was truly an incredible night.
When we take that first action and show the Lord that we believe that He will help us make any experience into a positive learning one we are showing him our Faith. He is then able to use that Faith to bless our life.
I'm so grateful for this gospel and for the direction and peace it has brought me in this tumultuous time. I know I would not be who I am today without it, and for that I feel blessed.
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