The Lord's Timing

I ponder a lot these days, and today I was thinking about the events of the past 5 months and how the Lord's timing has come into play. I was specifically thinking about how all I am struggling with can be divided into two huge trial categories. One being coming home early from my mission, and the other being too private to blog about right now. They both contain some of the hardest things I have EVER had to go through. Never have I felt so alone or had to rely on the atonement so much. It is a learning experience like none other.

Today I was thinking about how infinite the Lord's wisdom is, especially when it comes to the timing of our trials. It is slightly hard to explain so sorry if it makes no sense. But after coming home from my mission I was on fire. I had a huge desire to work as hard as I could to keep the spirit I felt and to find out what was going on with my body and mind. Unfortunately after a couple weeks of struggling, still receiving no answers, and spending A LOT of time alone I started to get down. I started to let Satan and the negative thoughts he puts into our heads get to me. The weight became pretty unbearable after about 3 months and I hit an extremely dark point. I was hopeless and didn't see purpose in my life. It was a scary place for me, and it was a scary thing for those around me to see.

Right when I was at my darkest is when the Lord showed me there was hope. He showed me a glimpse of His purpose for me and that tiny ray of light was enough to chase those shadows away. They are still there, but they are much more manageable and understandable now.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (link here)

It was not even a day after this light came that the second phase of this trial hit. It too knocked me off my feet and I again started to fight for understanding. Maybe one day I'll be able to share more about this second trial, but for now it sufficeth to say that it's something I never thought I could handle.

Today I feel blessed that the Lord saw fit to help me to start find meaning and understanding in coming home from my mission right before this second trial hit. He knew I couldn't handle both of them at the same time.

I am so grateful to know that there is someone who has created a plan for my life and He is helping me to live it. I feel so blessed to know that I am not alone. That I can rely on my Savior who has a perfect understanding. He hasn't taken away any of my difficulties, but he has made me stronger so I am able to bear them.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (link here)